214: When Prostate Cancer Affects the Partner: Rachel’s Story of Intimacy, Grief & Connection

In this an honest and emotional episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa and Kate shift the spotlight to a voice that is far too often missing in prostate cancer conversations — the partner. 

Rachel bravely shares her lived experience of navigating intimacy, grief, love, patience, and reconnection after her partner underwent prostate cancer surgery. What unfolds is not a clinical education session, but a raw, validating conversation about what happens to relationships when erections, continence, desire, and confidence change overnight. 

Together, they explore how prostate cancer is not just a medical diagnosis, it is a life changing event. One that impacts communication, identity, sexuality, and emotional safety on both sides. 

This episode is essential listening for partners, couples, and clinicians who want to better understand the unseen emotional labour carried by those standing beside the man with the diagnosis. 

In This Episode, We Discuss: 

• Why prostate cancer is a couple’s condition, not just a men’s health issue 

• The silent grief partners experience  

• Why erectile dysfunction, incontinence, and medicalised sex can affect intimacy 

• Feeling out of sync: when one partner is focused on survival and the other on connection 

• The loss of spontaneity, desire signals, and sexual confidence 

• The emotional complexity of “being supportive” 

• Why saying “I don’t mind if we never have sex again” can feel like rejection 

• The impact of ED on a partner’s sense of desirability and femininity 

• Navigating injections, pumps, implants  

• Shifting from performance and penetration to connection and shared pleasure 

• Practical strategies that may help  

Key Takeaways 

• Desire doesn’t disappear after prostate cancer — it changes shape. 

• Partners grieve too, and their pain deserves space and validation. 

• Intimacy is about connection, not outcomes. 

• Support for partners is a glaring gap — and one that must be addressed. 

Support for Partners 

If you are a partner navigating life after prostate cancer and would like to connect with others in a similar situation, you can email: admin@rshealth.com.au 
(Your details can be passed on confidentially — partner anonymity respected.) 

 

Resources & Links: 

• Book an in clinic or telehealth consult with our sexual health practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic 

• For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com 

• Book: Come Together – Emily Nagoski 

Listen & Subscribe 

• If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. 

Connect With Us 

 We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@rshealth.com.au 
 

Websites: 

https://rshealth.com.au/  All genders 

https://makehardeasy.com.au  

https://melissahadleybarrett.com  

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ 

https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett  

TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett 

Facebook: 

https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ 

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 

Linkedin: 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ 

 TEDX: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA